I’m feeling this a lot lately. Hence the lack of posts. I’m in my head and in my heart and not in it with anybody. I can’t seem to think straight or feel straight or talk straight. It’s all a jumbled mess and I miss home. And I’m not happy and so I’m being honest. My smile is brittle. It is candy. Wasting away for our satisfaction. “I look in the mirror and I do not know myself. It seems I haven’t for awhile now. If I ever did. I smile. It seems brittle, like a dying lollipop between eager teeth. There are no crows feet. No tiny little lines that say “this is real, I am happy”. Because I don’t think I am. But I can’t be sure. My mask, mass produced, has been on too long for me to notice the nuances of my emotions. I can hardly tell a grimace from a grin anymore.”
